Tassie's burnin up!!!

I just saw this on the net and thought it looked quite impressive. Unless you're amongst it...

Swanky's Newsletter 4

SHOW TIME IN TINSEL TOWN BUT NO POSH AND BECKS !!!

The all conquering dynasty DATS netball team continued on its march to the gloryland last night with a spice of razzle dazzle winning easily. This team is seemingly transcending the sports world as Spreyton Tip Rat Stadium appears to be the place to be on a Tuesday night, as it was filled with celebrities turning out to watch "Kats Invincibles of 06". The only lowlight on a grand night was the non appearance of Spreyton royalty Poshand Becks Doherty, who were rumoured to be travelling to the game in a golf cart.

Highlights were plentiful, but the return of former Parrots superstar Sara Hess warmed the hearts of supporters. The DATS even had the luxury of giving All Australians Lozza and Lesa the night off. Only one minor scare off the court was the news that inform WD Clint Distol was involved in a bar fight with his own dog and Gurus over a scrap of food. Apparently ugly scenes hours before the big game cost Diss his position in the team as Gurus dog had to drive Clint out to hospital after Distal and his own dog were involved in a bite off. Hopefully Diss will be available to play next week despite the amputation of his right arm up to his elbow.The spiritless drones known as the Rebel-cobras touch team, have the bye this week amid speculation that the board may be overthrown, as it's unacceptable that they dont win every game they play ! stay tuned to 7AD for breaking developments on that story.

WEEKLY VOTES
We have finally come up with a fitting name for this years best sportsperson. Over this Summer the athletes from the DATS and Rebel-Cobras will be competing for the "Sacred Pig Reeves Oldmans Gallantry Medal" or better known as the "S.P.R.O.G" medal. I think a fitting reference to Pig Reeves Oldman who helped mould us in to the fine up standing people we are today except Parker.

3 - Kat
2 - Jodie
1 - Gurus Dog

Leaderboard
6 - Distol
4 - Kat / Jodie
3 - Toddy / Jacinta

DEAR SWANKY
I have just come home from a players trip and feel like its all I wanna doin life now, how do I tell my wife and child this is the new me ? And being sober is for loosers !
Todd

Well Todd from Tasmania this will be an easy one this week. Todd you are the dominate male so therefore anything you say to your family must be obeyed. So first grab another beer from the fridge, better yet tell your missus to get you one then simply inform them with a stern voice that you will be going on the C bus for a period of time and that you'll be back when you feel like it. Sober is for losers, as most of my mates are better blokes when I have had a couple. I hope this helps.

PLAYER PROFILE
name - Stuart Claridge
team - DATS & Rebel-Cobras

likes - black yawns at night clubs and Todds couch. And building 7 storeyhigh houses
dislikes - tarps
idol - his red brother Nathan

LATEST GOSS
Sorry to say my legal team led by Greg Richardson was high late last week and couldnt find a legal loophole. So we were beaten out by Today Tonight in breaking the super news that Kylie and Nathan will be having a baby.

So this weeks Readers Poll question is an easy one -
who out of Greg doherty and Nathan Parker is less likely to succeed as a father ?
Countdown is also on for little Dats to make his/her appearance.
Many believe little Dats will come out with a can of ron in his / her hand.

500 km in 14 hrs Korean style.

After dinner Friday night with Jenna, an English girl and Caroline I decided to get to bed early and make a break for the east coast. Sokcho in particular, the Lonely planet gave it a big rap and also there's the Saroksan national park which is allegedly the jewell in the crown of Korean wilderness.
Arrival in Sokcho reminded me of travelling to Burnie from Dever's, the road winds its way around a rocky coast before entering a port town of about 90 thousand, very simmilar apart from the everpresent razor wire preventing access to most parts of the coast. Its far east but the closest major metro to the eastern/north border.
I arrived at the express bus terminal and had to catch another bus to the cbd where I intended to get a room for the night.
I got on the right bus but instead of heading north which would have suited me it went south. I decided to stay on and check out more of the coast and see where it ended up. I got off at Yangyang after about 15 min and wandered the 250m of alleys to the coast where I found to my delight a 'Salmon Festival'!! Yay... more culture and stuff... I Stayed long enough to do a full curcuit of the fairground and soak up some traditional dance- which was quite good, a bit more up tempo compared with the torture at the temple!
A stones throw away I discovered a rare sight. Damed saltwater pools were filled to the brim with massive salmon. 'Sporting' fishermen were mingling close by and I did laugh when I heard one say; 'Where's Rexy!!'. Anyway after checking out the salmon for a while caught the return bus and checked out Sockcho.








It's a bustleing place and for the first time since my arrival I felt the need to look over my shoulder a bit. Typical port town atmosphere I suppose, this one services Russia, Japan and parts of China. I was pretty exhausted by this stage and wanted to find a hotel, have an hours kip and then grab some dinner. The motel was a dive but clean and after a rest I checked out Saturday night in Sokcho...
By eight the main drag and harbour looked quite friendly however after a meal wandering through the markets and past the bars I got the distinct impression I was standing out from the crowd and not in the usual way where i'm asked to pose for photo's...
By about ten the streets were devoid of families and after a while I realised I hadn't seen a cop for a while which is also unusual as they are usually everywhere... Groups of people hung out on steet corners, off duty soldiers were milling about drunk which I thought was not allowed in uniform, but this was Sokcho. And... hookers and pimps everywhere!!! I'm very well aware by now of the brothels/"barber shops" on every street throughout Korea. They are literally everywhere and never mentioned by the natives. But i've never seen it flaunted so openly. Yes, I know what you're thinking, Sammy stumbled into the red light district, and you're probably right but the whole of Sokcho seemed the same after dark.
No sampling of the forbidden fruits for Sammy, I had an early start in the morning. I wanted to head back to Seoul via a small town called Inje. Supposedly the adventure sports mecca of Korea and equal to to anywhere else on the planet. On the way to Inje I went through Saroksan Nat Park which was very impressive and high...
The colours of Autum are pretty and I started to feel this trip was beginning to be worth the effort as this park had everything an alpine area should.
After another bus change I arrived in Inje in time for some 'Bungee for breakfast!!' Caroline has told me that she's doing a cocktail tour of the world and I've decided to do a bungee worl tour!! This 63m beautie was all mine at 9.30am and after a 2 min weigh-in I was lifted to the top. There was no time or linguistc ability for small talk with the operator and very soon I was given the countdown. Hana, Dul, Set-BUNGEEEEE!!!
Fucking awesome!!! Just what I needed to clear the cobwebs. Sorry no photo's this time and although I heard my screams echo throughout the valley I dont think any one heard me scream. Afterwards I took stock of the situation and realised that being asked to 'tighten up my shoes', was a bit weird prior to jumping- at the time I didn't care and probably a good thing. If they were relying on my slipons saving me I was in trouble. Ahh hindsight, maybe its just as well I don't have it.
I got a nice certificate to go and managed to score a lift to the express bus stop by the operator. As I said before 'This was MY bungee' today no one else was in sight and Inje itself was like a ghost town.

The bus left Inje at 10.30 and 160km and 5.5 hours later I arrived back home where I instantly became 'one with the bed'.

Swanky's Newsletter 3

NORTH WEST SPORTS FANS RIDE ROLLER-COASTERDATS INVINCIBLE

Dynasty is a word that is bantered around far to much these days, but it iseasy to see why the DATS netball team is compared to Bradmans invinciblesof 1929 and Ruths Yankees of 1938. This team is star studded. Everyone was on top of their game on Tuesday as they clubbed the meercats to death withpower and precision. Shooters Ashdown and Lozza toyed with their opponents. Boy, Kat and Distol darted around the court like they were on rock meth. Star rookie Jay Morgan showed everyone she is clearly the Associationsrookie of the year, putting her good form down to her 20 year preseason. Jodie once again showed grit and toughness. Jodie hit the cement, only torise to the occasion and continue with a broken leg, dislocated cranium andbroken vertebra.


LACKLUSTER DISPLAY BY REBEL-COBRAS

The Rebel-Cobras went down in Touch last night 4 - 2 to a bunch ofupstarts. Lacking player depth due to various no shows. Ashdown had theonly plausible excuse as went to Hobart trying to continue his playerstrip, he had no comment to make from the Mens Gallery last night. Nocomment from Coach Lisa last night either as she and others did not attendthis important game as they couldnt be stuffed !!! Captain Doherty had tocome to Swankys defence due to a rule dispute with the official. Greg andref Spinks were involved in a face to face verbal stosh that looked likegetting out of hand. Memories of Gregs ugly encounter with a vendingmachine come flooding back but luckily the situation was disfused. The onlyhighlight was the form of Distol, whom was cruelly denied a hat trick by acheating little kid whom called touch when clearly distol had made a cleanintercept and was headed for the red zone unabated.
WEEKLY VOTES
3 - Distol
2 - Jodie
1 - Jacinta
minus 1 - Coach Lisa

READERS POLL
Will continue the poll for a name for the medal another week. Ray JamesMedal and the Nathan Parker Medal is all we have at present. Please let meknow if you can come up with a better Medal name.

DEAR SWANKY
I am from Brasil and on a recent trip to Tasmania, with my fiancee I came across a guy with red hair and a big nose, he bought me a drink but I couldnt understand a word he was saying. Do Tasmanians speak any otherlanguages other then English? Or is this gentleman a bit retarded becausehe did look a bit mongoloid ?

Miss D.A -
well Miss D, firstly on behalf of Australia we apologize for yourharrying experience with this crazed individual. Here in Tasmania we onlyspeak two languages English and Chewbacca. The gentleman you have comeacross is from the Red-bacca species which speak Chewbacca fluently,however please in future be very careful approaching this wookie /orangutan / man as he can omit a vile smell of garlic and has been known tobore people to death on players trips.

LATEST GOSS ( looking for a career change ? become a snitch and tell SwankyMedia the latest on line now )
Due to legal reasons unable to print the latest news from the Coast, staytuned for more next week as hopefully our legal team will find a loop holein this story soon.

Weekly Round up.

The jarheads roll on

Not the best view first thing in the morning
Typical hazy day on the peninsula
Joe, Me and Aussie Deb soak up the serenity...

Mmmm...
The museum on the first stop


Second stop the temple, I think this was the east gate.

Very soon we were heading up,

and up,

and up,

after a brief sermon on enlightenment we headed down,
and down
and down,
Yaay, at this stage the seasoned athletes were ready for a free feed.

As they say in the classics 'theres no such thing as a free lunch' and the following was more gruelling than any hill climb. Two hours of inceasing moaning and wailing by various colourful crones, occasionally broken up by a person or two who tried to learn to tune the instrument on the fly. While at the same time sitting cross legged and trying to fight the urge to leave.


These guys were charisma personified, NOT!!!
Don't be fooled by this fella's smile he was the worst torturer of the lot, bastard. It reminded me of some of the rubbish my parents made me endure in the name of cultural education. I remember their words well "when youre old enough you can make you're own decisions on what you see..." Well mum & dad I would have got up and left after the first salvo but according to recent news reports about the very same monks rioting last week I put up with it. You must be soooo proud!!
Third stop, I forgot about was another old fortress type place. Probably the most relaxing of the lot.


Deb and I get a bit Zen.
Where's Russell when you need him?

On Sunday on my way into the 2002 World Cup Stadium to meet Cath Aka. Hyunmok I saw this huge...well..spurt of water coming out of the Han river. Turns out its the worlds highest!! Very impressive, gets towed around for all sorts of weddings, parties... Personally I think the government could spend their money on something better like... garbage collection perhaps?
These "ants" climbing up the hill are people relaxing on a Sunday! A country of fanatics, I'm sure they are all sporting the latest in hiking wear.
This is the park next to the stadium and in the distance the "ants" can be seen on the sugar trail.

Anyway the master instructor had a lesson to teach
Afterwards Hyunmok and I went to a cosy little Italian restaurant in trendy 'Hongdae', Pizza, Lasagne, Guiness and propper coffee were on the menu.


I've been a bit bored at work lately so i've decided to spice things up a bit by letting the boss know i'm ready to give notice pretty soon. The tension can be cut with a knife at the moment, but you get that when you give someone a contract to teach 30 hours a week and expect them to do 40+!! And be happy about it...

Not to mention, no health ins, o-time pay etc.... Anyway, I made it clear my gripe was with the boss & not anyone else, which put a smile on the Korean teachers dials again.

I have an interview over the phone tomorrow for the Emirates job and also there is a mob in Taiwan who are expecting me to lob into Taipei at the end of the month so i've got a nice safety net if things go pear shape. Exciting times!!, I love a bit of drama!!!

Last week I was a social butterfly. Out to Indian with Cariline and Angela on Wednesday, Thursday night with Catherine who has kindly organised a phone for me and Friday night went out for BBQ with Canadian Rob & Wendy and got extremely messy.

Caroline has been in touch with a group in Seoul who are in cahoots with Korean Tourism (the guy next to me is slurping his noodles way too energetically for my liking, he should be finished soon...) and they run a free bus tour each month for foreigners out of Seoul.

We had signed up for an overnight temple stay at a buddist monestry, very zen I had thought until it was reported nationally that two rival monestrys were physically fighting each other over something or another. Just the opposite to what we expected , but we're in the country of fanatics, anything they do they do with obsessive compulsion. It turned out it was where we were sheduled to stay and what they were fighting over was who was to recieve the money from the tourism department for our very stay!!!

So.. the trip was re-arranged to be just a day on Gangwa Island visiting several monestrys there. Gangwa is the same place Sunbong and his brother decided wasn't good enough for our fishing talents on the day of our epic/fuckin boring fishing day.

We left Seoul central at eight. American Joe, Aussie Deb, Caroline and myself were on the bus and it took us about an hour to get to the first place. Along the way, as the army is now massing on the border, a convoy of tanks rolled past which is definately a bit disconcerting. However we arrived in one piece to a lookout/fortress/museum of sorts. Not bad, kind of relaxing, but I was majorly hung over and there wasn't a hair of the dog in sight. Mmm it was going to be a long day...

Next and final stop was the main monestry/ ancient village and forest mountain area. After a brief briefing we started to climb up... I wished I had packed my spare head as the one I was wearing was starting to crack under the pressure. The pictures tell the story.

The trip home was in gridlock and it took the bus four hours to cover the 50k home! Sunday was a good day spent with Hyunmok at the WC Stadium park. It's a top place which i'll definately visit again in more detail. Later on we had Italian which was my first bit of 'Western " food since coming over. Expensive, but money well spent, t'was delicious!!

Swanky's Newsletter Volume 2

SUPER ATHLETES ON THE ROAD TO GLORY

Its an early call but it would seem the Rebel Franchise offspring lookheaded for big celebrations this season. DATS netball team crushed theirhelpless opponents. Although their use of brute force may cost them at thetribunal. Jodie, Distol will appear on charging reports while Boy and Katwill have to front the panel on striking charges ( striking each other )stay tuned to WIN news for the latest developments as none of those chargedtook set penalties. Clearly they are the team to beat with stars in everyposition. It appears only a matter of time before they start playing theirmuch awaited brand of netball called show time. It appears that Spreyton isthe place to be on a Tuesday night as Posh and Becks Doherty were spottedin the crowd with other cling ons.

In other news the Rebel Cobras are poised for greatness, winning 6 - 2. Itappears now that the Rebel Cobras are looking good that Captain - CoachGreg Doherty wants back in the team. It seems Greg is now being calledCaptain Grumpy after a verbal altercation with the umpire. Snow scored 3times, Swankys try reminded many of a mix between Lotty Tuquire and JonahLomu while the only concern is the form or lack of it of Distol. The Pistolwas frozen on his wing with a chubby when he spotted a good lookinglesbian. Distol had to leave the ground with a jumper tied around his waistsaying it should never have happened.

WEEKLY VOTES
3 - Ashdown
2 - snowy
1 - Kat

REBEL NEWS
proposed Rebel trip is Jan 13 & 14, which will include the VB game betweenAUS v NZL. Feedback is welcome on this.

READERS POLLwhy is Nathan not playing any sport this summer ? we have had an amazingresponse and the best came from Mr. X - from Melbourne
- Nathan isnt playing sport this summer is because he is as weak as pisshis girlfriend wont let him, he might as well curl up into a ball and die!!

This weeks comp is to come up with the best name for our B & F medal. Thebest response wins a mega Rebel pack normally only available at side showalley at the Show !!!

DEAR SWANKY
The dear Swanky lines are now open any problems or you just want to ventsome anger please write in and we will solve your worries.

Dear SwankyI have just come home from a players trip and feel like its all I wanna doin life now, how do I tell my wife and child this is the new me? And beingsober is for looser's!
Todd

Best laugh i've had in ages.. DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR!!!

I clicked on this today and really lost it.

If you haven't watched "the chasers war on everything" click on the link below and then "play". Check out the latest one on "Airport PickUps", the best one so far and "Carlton flight 93" a moving tribute to David Boon's staying power.

http://www.abc.net.au/tv/chaser/war/video/default.htm
P.S. I get a new mobile tomorrow, feel free to try it out!!

Sam's new number : (int. connect. +) 010 9470 3011

Bon appetit

NORTH KOREA TESTS NUCLEAR BOMB

9.10.2006. 14:39:45

Defying worldwide appeals and threats of sanctions, North Korea on announced it had carried out its first nuclear weapons test, calling it a "historic event." The communist state's official Korean Central News Agency (KCNA) said the underground test was carried out safely and successfully and there was no radiation leak. A South Korean defence ministry official quoted by Yonhap news agency said the test was carried out at Hwadaeri near Kilju on North Korea's northeast coast at 10:36 am (0136 GMT). There was no immediate official confirmation in the South of the test.

But the presidential office said the state intelligence agency had detected a 3.58 magnitude seismic tremor in North Hamgyong Province, where Kilju is located. However the US Geological Survey has thrown that claim into doubt, saying there have been no such tremors in the area over the past 48 hours. China joins condemnation China condemned Pyongyang for "brazenly" carrying out the test, expressing hope Pyongyang will return to six-nation disarmament talks. The Chinese foreign ministry says upholding the stability of northeast Asia is in the interests of all parties.

The test took place around the time Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe arrived in Seoul for talks on handling the nuclear crisis and just three days after a UN Security Council statement was issued against North Korea. The council unanimously adopted a non-binding statement that urged the North to drop plans for a test and to return to six-party disarmament talks. South Korean President Roh Moo-hyun immediately called an emergency ministerial meeting to discuss countermeasures. Mountain test speculation The test is believed to have been conducted in a horizontal tunnel, a lawmaker quoted intelligence officials as saying. The officials told parliament it appeared to have been conducted in a 360-metre mountain north-west of its Musudanri missile base in Hwadaeri. Parliamentarian Chung Hyong-Keun quoted an intelligence official as saying: "In consideration of the height of the mountain, the test appeared to have been done in a horizontal tunnel."

North Korean statement Official media agency KCNA issued a brief statement announcing the nuclear test. "The nuclear test was conducted with indigenous wisdom and technology, 100 percent. "It marks a historic event as it greatly encouraged and pleased the KPA (North Korean army) and people that have wished to have powerful self-reliant defence capability. The South Korean military has since raised its vigilance along the border with North Korea.

Happy Birthday Daddy ! ! !

Dear Daddy,

Wishing you a happy birthday, another year older and hopefully a bit wiser!!
Manny happy returns for the day.

Love, Sammy x x x

another hit from the "bong"....

Firstly, i'd like to introduce Catherine!!

She's my studious english student and we've had some good lessons and some fine feeds lately. We had just gone onto the roof to watch the sunset, very spectacular and necessary to her linguistic skills.

Last night I took another "hit from the bong", Sunbong, that is... He's an animal on the sip and last night was no exception. He'd just recieved news that his son, who's in the Australian army is off to Iraq for a tour. Big news in the Lee house and i'm sure he had to settle a few nerves with a bit of the amber fluid.


Today with bleary eyes we took Catherine to see North Korea for the first time at the Udosan Unification Observatory.

As you can see the visibility was poor but across the water NK is 450m away at its closest point.





On arrival the noise was deafening as Korea's about to have a national drum festival and these wirling durbisher type women constantly jirated along with the beat.

Here's yours truly with NK in the background. There's trouble afoot here with NK's thretened tests and as recently as yesterday warning shots were fired across the dmz by the SK's as some NK's had overstepped a boundary somewhere.

Catherine and Sunbong strike a pose.



Outside the Odusan observatory

The Freedom Road/Unification Expressway.... Doesn't look too unified or free to me!!


Ok... Big news, i've started to look elsewhere for a job. Less hours basically, too tired during the week.

During my search I stumbled on a Griffith University position advertised in Dubai. I sent them a resume and I've got a phone interview later on this week when we can sort a time.
Sounds like a good deal on all fronts and its starting to cool off big time here, and its always nice to chase the sun.

As always i'll keep you posted.

Swankys Newsletter vol 1 - Summer Edition

ITS BACK !!!!!

Yes you have a reason to live.
Yes you can wipe your weeping eyes, as the Swanky Newsletter is back for Summer 06/07. We here at Swanky Media will cover all the big sports this Summer. And what a line up we have for you. We will continue to keep you updated with the latest news from the Rebel basketball Dynasty as they endure one of their toughest off seasons, plus all the trades and news on their players trip.
But theres more, yes we will bring to you the best in local sport from the Netball court to the Touch football ground and everything in between. so take a deep breath and prepare yourself for a major dose of entertainment.



DATS CRUSH MIDGET CHILDREN
The newly formed D.A.T.S ( ask Claridge what it stands for ) netball team got off to a flyer. Lesa and Lozza were unstoppable in front of goal while Kat Parker used brute force in defense. Toddy showed he had lost nothing ( helps when your as tall as the goal posts). But the real star was the rookie of the team Jay Morgan. J toyed with the defense showing her extensive preseason will pay off. But surely their opponents need to have a look at themselves !!! Whats happen to the youth of today ? These kids were no taller then 3 foot ( too much playstaion and junkfood I say ).


TOUCH TURNS UGLY
The newly formed Rebel - Cobras ??? showed all the potential of being a powerhouse in the B division this year. Knowing the rules is always a bonus which explains the 3 - 1 deficit at half time. But the boys came steaming home only to fail 4 - 3. The boys were rocked by the news that captain - coach Greg Doherty snubbed his nose at the team before running onto the>pitch, but such is the demand to coach this crack unit that Lisa Doherty is now head coach ( which may require an ambulance in the car park in the coming weeks ).
The club already has a strong fan base and a mascot in Trey ( anyone whom can help with a costume for Trey please contact Swanky Media ). The only low light was Distols bone crushing hit on his wimpy spaghetti armed opponent ( or was this a highlight ??? ).


WEEKLY VOTES ( need a name for this summers medal ?????? )
3 - Distol
2 - Jacinta
1 - Lesa
minus 1 - Greg Doherty

REBEL NEWS
nothing .........

READERS POLL
Why is Nathan not playing any sport this summer ? best answer wins a framed
and signed picture of Nathan looking like Vincent from Beauty and the Beast
from last weeks Beerlow comp.

other segments
DEAR SWANKY - write in and have your letter published.
PLAYER PROFILES - coming soon.
LATEST GOSS - we will print anything here at Swanky Media.

Swankys Grand Final Review 2006

ONE OF THE GREAT GRAND FINALS>

For sheer entertainment value this years Grand Final rates in the top 3.
Some would argue that the inaugural 1993 GF doo at the 'Mecca' of piss ups; "Coys Rumpus," is untouchable in so many ways. Who could ever forget 'Pig Reeves's' old man's famous words: "coach ya's all me life and ya's go and do this to me!!" As he sported a tennis ball sized egg on his cranium, those words will echo forever more as long as there is a GF piss up. But alas this year had all the makings of a classic day. However AFL boss Andrew Demetriou has already stated that the AFL will be investigating several incidents that occurred during the afternoon and evening of the 30th of September 2006. Reports continue to filter in and believe it or not 99% of what is reported is factual.


PARKER BOYS TRY AND RUIN THE BIG DAY

Not only is AFL guru Andrew Demetriou investigating 2 major incidents, but it is believed that Inspector Dean may also become involved as criminal charges may be laid over the following. Kick to kick to decide the Beerlow was hard and tough as per every year, but this year it turned horribly wrong. With the votes locked going into the last kick of the day - Stuart Claridge going for back to back Beerlows took a screamer, only to miss out on the medal as it had to be awarded to Nathan Parker.

Parker on hands and knees crawled to the sidelines like a mauled deer attempting to survive a vicious lion attack. With blood streaming from his hairy nostrils like a tap he screamed "dont let the kids see this!" Which is ironic, as the kids found it clearly amusing. During his attempt to mark, Nathan received a momentous blow to the snoze. It blew out over his face to make him look like Vincent from Beauty and Beast. After a couple more beer bongs he was whisked away home via KFC where apparently concussed he continually screamed for "Adrain...." Not even Osama has claimed responsibility for the biggest hit since Willet broke his collar bone.

Incident 2 is even more disturbing. As Norm Pisshead winner Stuart Claridge took to the crowd in a violent and disturbing attack. Reports are sketchy on this one with one eye witness saying after turning a table upside down the angry boy then jumped through the tarp like the incredible hulk on acid only to be restrained and then medicated. The memorable moments continued on during the course of the day. With the kids given free range to repaint the interior of the house by father of the year T.Ashdown. They even repainted the carpet in a determined and inspiring job. Toddy also entertained the crowd with a couple of nudey runs. There was also a spectacular fire works display by Burbs titled "the flaming mangina".

And another highlight for the masses was the return to Tasmania for a short promotional visit from London, "Dazzling Deano Hulsman." Whom it appears has picked an accent. Not an English accent but actually a French accent as every second word was an F word. Some were worried that when Swanky Entertainment relinquished the rights to GF day that it would be like the Fox empire handing the rights to SBS, but Todd and Jodie have done a tremendous job in making tarp city and entertaining the huge throng of spectators. oh by the way great game too.

Happy Chusok Y'all !!

Well Chusok has arrived and not before time. For those of you who say what..? Chew Socks! Think again you philistines..

Chusok is the Korean version of thanksgiving, which is bigger than Christmas over here. I'm halfway through a 4 day break and the whole country has shut down. There's an eirie calm about everywhere, 8 lane roads are jwalkable and most shops are shut. Thankfully i've been busy entertaining a guest the last few days which has been quite enjoyable. She Ryu, aka Cath, requires some extra special english tuition and as luck would have it i'm available!!

Anyway, last weekend deserves an honerable mention first. Friday night, the corner chiken joint hosted a get together of 10 or so foreign teachers. Most have played cameo roles in this site already however newcommer Jenna, from the mother country and Leigh from Sydney graced us with their prescence. Jenna recived three votes for her debut but Leigh will be spending the rest of the season in the country chasing a kick.

Caroline and I organised it, in fairness I think I mentioned it to her during the week at school but she did all the leg work. A late start 8.30, required quick lubrication and shortly after ten we decided to dig in to some chicken. By 11 everybody's true colours began to show through and those of us who fit into category 2 of foreigners (fairly normal), sat back and enjoyed/endured the fireworks.

There were heated political debates, lonely hearts therapy sessions, tumbles, homophobic revelations, Korean cultural insights; courtesy of Joe who has been "censored" twice by ajuma's (old ladies) for taking his shirt off in a public park and finally a mass exodous of Korean men next to us. Who after one of them fell off his chair and a couple of people from our table who will remain nameless (Caroline) couldn't help yelling 'Taxi!!' split as the "Loss of face" cultural thing permiates here even when people are pissed. They left a table full of half drunk beer, now that's scandalous.
Once the dust had settled we realised the best part of 11, 3L pitchers of cass had been consumed plus the half dozen or so cans Troy bought from the off-licence across the road.
We stumbled off thoroughly enibriated, myself, not quite sure what shape i'd be tomorrow for the grand final.

Saturday, through bloodshot eyes Caroline and I braved the bus into Seoul and a 60 degree hike to the Hilton for the Australian/New Zealand association AFL bash. A lavish affair at the Hilton. Once the first hair of the dog had been settled at about midday we revved up for one of the best GF games I've seen.

Debra from Bupyung (previous revelry) joined us and so did another kiwi gal pal of Caroline's. It was an oasis of Australiana, and unexpectedly just what I needed. Also there were some embassy people and the ambassador from Australia to Korea, so that should give you some idea of the splendour.
During the afternoon various prizes were drawn and most were won from our table. Sadly I was a thorn between two roses as mercedes weekend car hire packages were won on both my left and right as well as golf bags. As you can imagine, when you buy raffle tickets on a table everyone's numbers are consecutive and Caroline and myself were on the edge of our seats on numerous occasions. I had West Coast by 35 points in the main draw, worth nearly a grand Australian and to be honest, I thought I looked the goods halfway through the game. Sadly no result but an enjoyable afternoon. After the game everybody scattered to different watering holes, I felt great but the combined effects of the night before would soon be arriving. I made my way back home and had a nice snooze.

Sunday, I had arranged to meet a mystery girl near my school. The reasons, at the time were hazy however I was ready to find out more first hand. One of the adults I teach in the arvo's had tee'd it up and through her broken English (which has improved,I might add) I had gleaned that the person I was to meet was indeed female and wanted to talk to someone about Australia for some reason. Sure.. I'd be happy to oblidge..

I met her, Catherine at midday on Sunday and it was very pleasant, like a date really without the awkwardness as, of course she had her honerable reasons for us meeting and so did I. We went to a traditional Korean restaurant for lunch and a nice coffee (which is impossible to find here) at a place she knows near her area. We said our goodbyes and agreed to meet later on in the week for some one on one intensive language lessons. She's off to Australia next year to do pharmacy in Sydney and needs to pass an English test to get accepted by the university.

Sunbong's sister was due to arrive at six for a week of Chusok revelry with Sunbong and the rest of their family over here and he and I had agreed to do "three stop's" in her honour and to celebrate the oncoming week off for every Korean other than me and Caroline. No... i'm not bitter and yes that was a monster sentence.
Three stops, usually requires; dinner and soju, beer and more beer at a sit down pub for us it was the 7080 where I was a hit and was asked on three occasions to request songs to be performed live and to sing up front which I gracefully refused.The Koreans don't stand or sit at a bar, it's all so civilised. Finally, third stop can be a titty bar if you're with blokes or a norebang (kareoke) if you have mixed company. The norebung brought Sunbong's sister undone and after one too many renditions of Proud Mary and Who'll Stop The Rain by CCR, which we butchered thoroughly, we exited.

Monday was untidy, however numbers were down and Tuesday was only 10 hours away and a public holiday. I had sheduled to meet Cath at two and we picked up where we left off from the previous lesson, she said goodbye at nineish after another fab feed.
Back again at school on Wednesday, simillar deal to Monday with low numbers and finally greeted a long weekend, four days. Fantastic... but the place is dead.
Had another marathon tutorial with Cath yesterday, so things are going swimmingly, and another planned for tomorrow which should break the monotony of my four day weekeed in a ghost town. It's like Campbell Town without the Jackman's!!


New's...
Caroline has organised an all expenses paid weekend tour of Korea's cultural sites next weekend, bunking down on the floor of a buddist monestry overnight! It should be fun and i'm looking forward to it. Debra's coming too.

Ok. Now some housekeeping:
Hotmail's becoming a bugger over here. Can't access it at school and some pc's at the pcbung are a little uncooperative. Please be paitent if you've sent me mail as I do appreciate it very, very very much !! and will get back to y'all as soon as I can.

Special hug's to Lara, sweetness, sugarpie x x x..., whose messages, i've finally recived and have been going into my junk mail section. She'd be appalled, and will surely have somebody's ass at microsoft !!

Oz grandfinal party's sounded awesome!! I'm pleased Swanky Entertainment has finally dragged it's arse out of recivership and put pen to paper again - It is a bit dissapointing however not to see its ageing CEO embrace modern technology and put his newsletter up on a blog (www.blogger.com) someone show him please, tis really easy, I can even do it in another language! Much more interactive and we can give Parker a more technologically advanced bolloking of which he so richly deserves. For the mean time I get much titilation from the newsletter so i'll post it here until the legal team from Swanky inc. gets me shut down.

I've got some photo's from the Hilton GF bash which i'll post later. Cheers y'all & happy Chusok!!